My Hermes and how to phone them...

Combatting Britain’s postal system

Ever since Britain got a fad about postage stamps, starting with the world’s first Penny Black of 1840, posting letters and parcels has become a part of our everyday lives. If you ever need to post something like an ebay item to anybody, then a number of options are available to Britain’s incumbent consignors. However, posting a simple parcel has become such an onerous and expensive job that you could be forgiven for thinking this tiny island of ours has become an outpost on the planet Mars.

Postage rates have only ever headed North and one of the most swingeing changes that ordinary consumers have faced in decades has been so-called ‘Pricing In Proportion’ which was introduced back in 2006. Rates went volumetric and were charged according to both weight and size. The result has been the total mayhem of Letters, Large Letters and the lunacy of Small Parcels, Medium Parcels and Large Parcels. Royal Mail then hurriedly introduced a shoebox-size parcel rate because it was missing out on so much small parcel trade (says a local Postmaster).

So when you’re posting a parcel via Royal Mail, not only do you need to know the gross weight but also the size of the final packaged item, something that causes chaos with many ebay sellers who have to guesstimate the likely volumetric rate and hope for the best.

Worst of all, though, is the Royal Mail’s punitive UK parcel rates that go into outer space once you exceed 2 kilos. At the time of writing a 2kg ‘Medium’ parcel costs £4.89 (2^nd class) or £8.90 (1^st class), but tip the scales by just one extra gram* over 2kgs and the prices leap to a shameful £13.75 (2^nd) or a usurious £15.85 (1^st) covering up to 5 kilos! Note that ‘Small’ parcels can’t exceed 2 kilos anyway.

* Since post office digital weighscales are ‘stamped’ by law (Trading Standards calibrated), in my experience readings are treated as black and white and the clerks will slavishly obey the numerical display regardless. Clerks never, ever, ‘let you off’ if you’re just one gram overweight, but they will then happily slap a huge great label or stamp or two on the same parcel that adds several more grams anyway. So it’s OK for them to send you over the limit, but woe betide you if you slap too much sticky tape onto your own parcel and tip it over the 2 kilo mark.

My Hermes – and their hidden phone number is...

Keen to avoid the Royal Mail’s >2 Kilo Medium parcel trap, another option I have used is My Hermes, which on paper sounds an ideal alternative. A courier can collect your parcel or you can drop it off in your local ParcelShop (qv), and there are far fewer restrictions on size. Check out their Parcel Size Calculator. The order is placed and paid for online, though I must say the My Hermes website is a bit frustrating to use sometimes and more than once I had to re-enter details several times.

My Hermes uses local knowledgeable self-employed couriers to fetch and carry: they don’t earn much and they often have hundreds of drops to make. The price differences are astounding, some 50% or more cheaper than Royal Mail at times. They will endeavour to deliver within five days. There are restrictions on what they won’t carry, and check the compensation guarantees as well.

When My Hermes works, it works extremely well. But be aware that if things go wrong, getting through to anyone can be hard (or a nightmare). Forget their online ticketing system, and you won’t find their phone number anywhere on the My Hermes website either. My most recent despatches bombed miserably due to failed collections which delayed them by a week. The local guy went on holiday, the stand-in temp gave up and several deadlines were missed. In what became a hair-pulling experience the regular guy then declared he’s on another 2 week holiday (!) so I wondered if my parcels would ever be collected (consider dropping them in at a ParcelShop instead)... or would I have to cancel them and issue refunds?

Anyway, in the end I phoned them and sorted it out that way. The parcels were collected at 6.45 p.m., within the 8 p.m. cutoff. That very elusive telephone number for chasing up My Hermes is 0330 333 6556. Have your 16 digit consignment number ready if you call them.